Keeping it Small and Simple

2008.04.04

The white lover

Filed under: Health — Tags: , , , , — Lorenzo E. Danielsson @ 10:22

Here she is in all her lethal beauty:
cigarettes.jpg

Twenty years ago she seduced me. For twenty fucking years I’ve adored her and defended her against any criticism, defended her against all her enemies. In the meantime, she’s been planning my destruction.

I’ve lost sleep because of her. I’ve neglected to eat because of her. I would have chosen a few puffs over sex any day. I could have sold all my belongings just for those few moments with her.

No more! I dumped her last night. The weak despicable figure that I am, this morning I needed her again and came crawling back. Just one last time..

Just one last time. Yeah right. The sign of an addict. I’m no fucking better than the heroin addict or the alcoholic. I’m a nicotine addict pure and simple.

For some strange reason the relapse I had this morning seems to have been positive. After I had finished the cigarette I felt disappointed. Disappointed, first because it didn’t make me feel as good as I had imagined, and second because I had failed. But I must move on. I must not take another puff!

My name is Lorenzo. I am a nicotine addict.

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